14 Syrians

the jornal of our band as we fly around the country. our music is good and pleasing to the eare.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

even more proof of our goodness

So we forgot to tell you about some other things as well.  WE are FRIENDS with the US GOVERNMENT.

Well, certain members.  Some time ago, when we were but young Syrian lads, we met a gentleman we have come to know as Uncle Sandy.

A few years ago, we started hearing hearing more and more from Uncle Sandy.  He would call us and ask us about our music to check on our career.  We, of course, would tell him long an interesting stories about our continued troubles with airlines officials who found us dangerous because of (used to be our long hair) our arabic looks.  Then Uncle Sandy would start talking about papers that he'd seen.  Sometimes he would talk about his socks.  We took a while to understand, because sometimes our American friends (we can't forget the wonderful trip to Africa we took with our Uncle Joe...the Africans loved our music...we thought we were going to get pieces of yellow cake, but the party never happened and we never saw any of it), well, they talk in riddles. 

Anyway, Uncle Sandy would call us and whisper about being in the bathroom and having to be quite.  He is a silly man, we were not certain about what he was talking.   He would ask the best way to get papers out without being noticed.  We are experts in packing things because of our instruments (even if we are not organized, like i said earlier), so i guess it was natural that he would calll us. 

We told him that we sometimes keep extra reeds in our undergraments.  Also, we keep our sheet music in our sleeves.  Sometimes Ali keeps a set list on his wristband.  This trick he learned while watching American Football with Uncle Sandy in the Hamtens...

We are woried about Uncle Sandy.  He, some peple are accusing him of bad things.  We think it's Bush's fault. Bush knew about this stuff, as the New yoirk Times tells us, and knew that Kerry's advisor was under investigation, and yet, let this continue.  What a betrayal of Uncle SAndy.  John Kerry he is a good man, he knows how to speak to make us happy.  Our mothers love the way he can make every one happy with his gigantic head and electric teath.  Sadly, our teeth are not like this.  Our water is not as good, and our government is more concerned about secrets than teeth.  BUT WE LOVE SYRIA AND USA! 

If Uncle Sandy calls us again, we will keep the information oup.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

sample of our singing...

here is a sample of our playing...it is the syrian national anthem.  We sound good for a band of just 14 syrians.  on this track, many of us had to play multiple instruments.  It is hard, but you can do anything if you practice. also, our western clothing offers us the freedom of movement that we don't have normally

http://tinyurl.com/6m4fh

I repeat: we are not good at organization though.  If you read this post http://14syrians.blogspot.com/2004/07/let-us-clear-things-up-we-are-just.html

you will understand that.  Please shaer our experience with your firend Annie Jacobsen (the lovely American liar).  We don't know where we'll be next week. so keep checking in for our stories from the road.

As-salaam alaykum (piece be with you)

14syrians

Let us Clear things UP - we are just Syrians

OK, there has been many things said about supposed 'terrorists'.  A person called Annie Jacobsen (a very lovely lady) saw us on our flight to Los Angeles on June 29th, saw our personal habits a bit confusing, and wrote an article implying that we might be terrorists.

We almost chuckle wen we read such things.  Let us clarify our thoughts:
  1. Due to the size and shape of our musical instruments, we must often communicate.  We are musicions, of course, and we are sometimes disorganized.  Whether I have the reed or on of my mates has a valve, or the horsehair strings for the bow, these are all questions we constantly have.  Can you not see that this is reasonable?  The FBI knows, they understand.  The fine gentlemen (and lady) who questioned us told us that they were in a band.  You see, if you traveled with musical instruments, you would understand.
  2. OK, this is not hard.  we love American products.  We go to Disneyland and play at the western casino.  The infidels love our music that we play for them.  It is easy to see why they will burn in perpetual flame.  They sure do live it up here though, and they pay quite greatly.  My yellow shirt is a clear indication of the fact that I am a musician who looks at life loosely. My associates...my band members, also musicians, often wear similar clothing.  We eat McDonalds, we sometimes order more so that we can eat it in private in the airplane.  One of us will carry it on and we will share it amongst ourselves throughout the flight.  Surely it is easy to understand...like 5 loaves and 2 fishes for the Christian devils.
  3. Thirdly, bombs are very hard to assemble.  It often takes our band 5-6 hours to assemble a bomb...and that is if we are uninterrupted.  If we have to be in our seatbelts on a plane, it might take 6-7 hours.  We might be able to do better in the future, but it is hard work, building a bomb.  It is also hard work to dig bomb parts out of small bags.  So clearly we are talking about musical instruments...we couldn't have been building a bomb that woould work to blow up a plane...yet. 

We are just 14 Syrians who happened to have acquired work Visas.  Luckly, we have been quiet enough so that the radical racial profiling has not noted even one of us as a 'hit'.  We are quite gracious for this.  Perhaps some of my brothers will comment later on more of our thoughts.  We have requests to play and we're not sure where the cell...our agents and managers will next book us an opportunity to play.

We thank you for your kind attention.  We do not blame Mrs. Jacobsen for her error.  We are musicians.  We are relaxed and we understand.  In fact, we have cleaned up our image because people called us 'hippe' when we used to have long hair.  It is better now. 

Oh yes, if we were going to build a bomb, we would have used our false American passports.  They are very well made, but the issue dates were accidentally printed a few months a head, so that dosent make them very usefull.  WE used our real Syrian passports.  The FBI guys (and lady) were very impressed with what they called teh 'funny lettering'.  If only the Full Blooded Infidels knew that we were joking about their cultural sterotyping, they probably wouldn' thave been laufing, but they were nice and we are friends, so it is ok, right, to make jokes sometimes in Arabic?

Thank you again for your reading, we will try to keep you updated on our tour diary.  It is a tough road for a band with many instruments such as us.  A tour bus might make sense, sot hat we don't have to constantly dissassemble and reassemble our instruments, but buses sometimes crash, and that is risky.  We prefer one-way tickets on different airlines.  Plus that's what our managers say to do. 

have many good days - we will update soon